I have been meaning to write this blog since last week, yet my mind got
muddied up by a whole bunch of other nonsense. Well, enough is enough.
Something amazing happened. And I want to write about it so I can look
back at it and freak out a little every time I do.
Since I was about 13 years old, I have been listening to a musician
named Andrew McMahon. He is just a bit older than me, born in 1983. He
got big right around the time he was graduating high school with a band
called Something Corporate. Throughout all of my high school and
college experiences, the songs on those albums defined for me every
emotion I had processed. I have copies of letters I wrote exboyfriends
in which half of it was my own over-dramatic ramblings and the other
parts were nothing by SoCo lyrics. Every last heartbreaking word that
Andrew wrote that could better describe what I was feeling than anything
I could come up with on my own.
I have so many specific memories with his music holding my hand through
horrific experiences. Awful sad times were made easier by feeling that
someone on the other side of my headphones understood what it felt like
to be hurt, abandoned, and disappointed. His second band Jack's
Mannequin released their first album my first week in college. That cd
was a staple in Stephanie's car for hours of driving and singing at the
top's of our lungs. We would car dance and pour our hearts out to Dark
Blue over and over again.
The most incredible thing about Andrew is that just before Jack's
Mannequin's debut album was released he was diagnosed with acute
lymphoblastic leukemia. In fact, the day the album was released was the
day that he had a bone marrow transplant from his younger sister
Katie. He was forced to cancel his tour, and was laid up in a hospital
bed when he was supposed to be supporting the album. He was 22 years
old, and was just beginning an amazing new chapter in his life - to
watch it all come crashing down and having cancer take over his body.
Obviously this resonates with me more now than it did then. When my Dad
was diagnosed last year, I buried myself in the music Andrew wrote
about his experiences with cancer. He continued to make me feel strong
through another devastating period in my life.
A girl that I had gone to college with, and had remained in little to no
contact with since leaving AU, had posted on her facebook that she had
an extra ticket to see him in Milwaukee this past Monday. It was a few
months before the show - and I really didn't think by the time the show
was approaching she would actually want to spend the evening with a girl
she barely knew from 5 years earlier. I mentioned anyway that I would
be interested in going with her. Imagine my surprise when she messaged
me just a few weeks ago to solidify our plans. I was now not only
freaking out about seeing the musical love of my life, but now I was
freaking out about reconnecting with a long lost friend. Anxiety
tripled a few days later when she informed me we were going to a
sound-check and meet and greet before the show. The reconnection
process started early as we then spent hours texting about what we would
wear, and how we could avoid vomiting everywhere when we met him.
As we got on the road to the show, I instantly liked her. We got to
catch up and start freaking out about Andrew. Just before we were about
to get to the venue for the sound check she turned to me and said "we
have time to go to the bar for 3 shots." I thought I was falling in
love. Then we sat down at the bar - and she ordered 3 shots. Then I
knew it was in fact love. A little buzzed and incredibly high on
adrenaline we got to the show and gathered around the stage. It was
just us and about 10 other kids, concert posters in hands anxiously
awaiting Andrew's arrival.
He walked on to the stage and sat down at his piano so nonchalantly. He
played around for a bit, sent a text or two, and waited for the sound
guys to finish setting up. There was an amazing moment where he turned
out to look at all of us staring at him, wide eyed with jaws dropped.
He looked at Chelsea and I, give this stupidly beautiful grin, and waved
the sweetest wave in our direction. I'm surprised neither one of us
passed out right there and then. The greatest part of being at the
sound check was that they were only 4 dates into this tour and were
working out some kinks and rehearsing. They ended up playing 7 full
songs as Chelsea and I danced and bobbed up and down, not caring that we
were drawing more attention to ourselves than any of the 16 year old
kids around us. We even asked the club manager if we could go up closer
to the stage to really get in there. The little ones couldn't have
been happier we took the initiative to do so.
Andrew bantered with us for a minute, noticing one of the kids wearing a
"No Man is an Island" shirt. And graciously said "hey man, let me play
that song for you in case I don't get to it tonight." He finished up
sound check and came down to the floor to take pictures and sign
autographs. The next 3 minutes are kind of hazy for me. Like a black
out from drinking, only this was from shear happiness. He came up and
put a hand on my arm. "Hey there, thanks for coming." I felt my face
turn flush and these words or a combination of is what came out of my
mouth. "I am so happy to meet you. I want to tell you, and I will keep
this brief and try not to get emotional..." the second the word
'emotional' came out of my mouth a giant lump formed in my throat and it
took everything in me to not lose my shit right there. I touched his
arm - his very fuzzy soft yellow sweater sleeve loosely hanging off his
terribly thin wrists. "thank you so much for the music you make. It's
meant so much to me. Everything you sing...just thank you." He said
thank you back - which pissed me off. NO, Andrew. I'm thanking YOU.
He smiled big as we took a few pictures together - and even appeased my
request to kiss his cheek for one of them.
We said thanks again, and that we were looking forward to seeing him
tonight. And with that we were back on the streets of Milwaukee,
skipping and singing as loudly as we could down numerous city blocks.
We were electric. We didn't have to even say it - we both just got it.
We both just knew how big that moment was for the both of us, and we
just soaked up the excitement like school girls giggling down the street
and back into the bar.
The concert that night was amazing. Andrew's live performance is
incredible. One of the most talented pianists I have ever seen, and his
voice is as raw and heart-shattering as it has been on those records
over all those years. I can, and will someday soon, share more stories
of the quality girl time found in the night with Chelsea. But the point
really worth driving home in this blog is that I had the opportunity to
say thank you to a musician who has truly changed my life in the most
pivotal years of my existence. I would give anything to sit down and
spend hours talking about his life, and his music, and the finer details
of what it has meant to me. But I got to say thank you. Something most people never have a chance to tell their heroes.
I can't thank Chelsea enough for the opportunity to put my arm around
someone that means so much to me. And an extended thank you to my
dearest friend Matt for helping me get there too. It seems silly. It
seems like Beatles mania for some pop/punk singer most of you have never
even heard of. But it is a memory that I will hold so close to me
forever. One of the happiest moments I have to date.
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