HappyThankYouMorePlease

So I wrote the first half of my year in review last week with every intention of posting it for the New Year.  I wanted to give some closure to 2011 for a number of reasons; the main one being that I started this blog as a resolution for 2011.  I started writing on January 1st, and made a promise to myself that I would write what I wanted to, to get things off my chest, and use this blog as an outlet for unfiltered, honest Katie Keller. I am incredibly proud of what I have created here in the past year, and even more proud of myself for having the follow-through to do what I said I would 367 days ago.

When I was writing the recap of the year, I got through all the gruesome details leading up to the beginning of June.  By the time I had gotten there (Charlie relationship, Dad's diagnosis, Charlie and I's breakup) I was in a pretty bad mood.  If I would have continued writing on through the end of the year, it would have gotten lighter and happier.  But I was pretty beat by rehashing the bad stuff that took place in the first half of the year, I just didn't have the energy to finish it up.

That was last week.

So it's now the 3rd and I haven't written anything new.  And I have made no progress on giving myself that written closure for the past year.  But 3 days in, I have already decided that I don't need it.  (Maybe I will finish that entry up for the published version.)  With a new year comes taking a deep breath and letting go of the year past - closure or no closure.  I decided at midnight, in the company of a great friend, that I am going to forgive the people that have wronged me in 2011 and move. the fuck. on.

Since making this determination for myself, I am happy to announce that I have had the best 2012 ever!  I don't want to get too excited or think that life will be smooth sailing from here on out.  But I do like this feeling that with the turn of a calender page, I get to start fresh.  I don't have to carry anything unnecessary with me moving forward - and in just a few days time I already feel a lighter load on my shoulders.

Dad's still got cancer.  HSF is still on the way out of town.  Work is still exhausting.  And I still don't have a car.  But my resolution for 2012 is to practice mind over matter and positive thinking. I want to practice forgiveness.   I want to practice happythankyoumoreplease.  Shit will suck sometimes.  But just yesterday I was the Queen of the World with a tray of OreIda curly french fries and a Mad Men marathon in my pajamas.

I'm happy.
Thank you, more please.