My Life Is Better Than Yours

My life is so much better than yours.  It just is, and I'm sorry about that.  As I am getting older and reflecting on the things I have done, and get to do on a regular basis, the only conclusion I am left with is that my life is better than yours.  I think the thing that separates my life from the average just okay ones, is that I have a weird way of always getting what I want.  When I was 15 years old I fell in love with a band called Jupiter Sunrise.  A few months later I was on their tour bus listening to my favorite tracks played acoustically for me and my friend - who were the only two fans invited along for a drive around town.  In 8th grade, I decided I wanted to be class president.  I hadn't been in student council ever before, I didn't have more than 3 friends that would probably vote for me - but alas, I became student council president.

I would like to blame it on dumb luck.  That it is some how my ability to be in the right place at the right time (like being chosen for Bozo Buckets at the Bozo Show when I was 6).  But I don't want to sell myself short either.  I work hard to have accomplished the things I have.  When I set my sights on something, I will find a way to get it or die trying.  I fell for a teacher of mine when I was younger, and though in retrospect what transpired was fucked up, I made him fall for me back.  I got what I wanted despite all logic and reason telling me I couldn't have it.  I wanted to get with the keyboardist from this band once, so I joined their street team to win a contest to meet the band, and you guessed it - no more than a month later I had him (and the bassist for that matter).

I've danced in VIP cages at nightclubs, I have partied with rock stars and comedians alike.  I have para-sailed over the Atlantic ocean.  I got to live in a house with my 5 best friends and have parties so epic that there were flame throwers.  I got to say thank you to one of my favorite song writers of all time.  I've been to the Bahamas, walked the beaches of Key West and Cozumel.  I hooked up with a guy who worked at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Orlando - and he took me up to a tricked out executive suite just to makeout.    I had a cigarette with Jason Mraz.  Sherri Lewis signed my Lampchop puppet.  I once drank and ran around a wax museum in St. Louis at midnight because Stephanie and I met a guy who knew the owner. Of a wax museum of all things.

I guess the point of all this bragging is a reminder to myself that I have never been defined by a relationship.  Not a single one of those previously mentioned moments were a result of dating any particular person.  (In fact, a lot of them happened because I WASN'T dating anyone at the time).  I spend all this time trying to diagnose why I have had the relationships I have, and why I seem to be attracted to the wrong men.  Maybe I haven't figured out love.  But I have figured out how to have a great fucking time.  To make every moment count.  To jump at opportunity.  To pull myself off the couch when I am in my pajamas, and putting on a bra seems like the most daunting task in the world.  I live an pretty extraordinary life sometimes.

Just last Thursday I got to ride out to Crown Point Indiana with 2 very hilarious comedians to see a great show - drink red wine with friends - and smoke in a bar!  This whole upcoming weekend is top to bottom shenanigans with my best friends - and a Death Cab for Cutie concert and meeting Chad Michael Murray (if I have anything to say about it).  I just need to make it a point to focus on the experiences I get to have as an unattached 25 year old woman.  I mean, my whole family seems to be getting married off these days (more power to you, bros).  But I know for a fact there is a whole lot left of my life I want to live before I am tied down to one person for all eternity.  I want to makeout with strangers, and dress slutty and dance with sweaty dudes that call me baby and try to grab me inappropriately.  That's what life is about, am I right?

I will be a wife someday.  And a mother.  And I will keep a clean house, and host wine tasting parties for my married friends.  In the meantime, I am going to attempt to wear red lipstick and dance around like a fool to 90s music.  And be incredibly proud that I am Katie Mother Fucking Keller, who can party with the best of them.  Cheers.