10.03.2011

I'm Kissing Dating Goodbye

I had a friend in high school send me a book once, in fact, it is still sitting on my bookshelf.  It was called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".  And I am sure my friend had good intention when he gave me this book, especially at that time in my life when I was becoming notoriously slutty.  The book, as described by amazon, is a blue print for having a Christian relationship in the way that God intended.  It teaches how to develop relationships based off of one's character and their own relationship with God, versus some lust/love feeling that may overwhelm you at first.  It also preaches against premarital sex, along with a few other Christian beliefs I have clearly never followed myself.

Now, you can't make an argument to me using God as your basis.  Because I personally don't believe in "God", at least not in the way I find most people preach about it.  This book made me roll my eyes more than it made me think about my relationships past and present.  I lost the meaning of the book because I was too busy being defensive for my fellow atheists.  Why can't you offer me relationship guidance without it becoming a God thing?  Whether or not there is a God will not be determined until after I am six feet under, and I would like to have a healthy, functioning relationship between now and then.

This isn't a blog about religion.

I have done some soul searching in the past few months.  (Maybe more like the past few days, but I like to have a reason for my promiscuity so we are going to pretend the soul searching started in May).  And I have decided after lacking the motivation to go on a recently scheduled date, the same lack of motivation that has watched numerous messages pile up on my dating site with no response, that I just don't want to do it anymore.  Not indefinitely. But for the time being, I don't want to exert any more effort into romantic relationships.  I can barely make the platonic ones in my life last, how can I expect to meet, learn, and maintain a new romantic relationship on top of everything else already going on in my life?

I love boys.  I love kissing boys.  I love falling for boys.  I love hating the boys that don't love me back.  And needless to say, this isn't a vow of celibacy by any means.  I am still going to have fun kissing boys, or whatever.  I guess this is just the first time I am questioning my constant pursuit for another man in my life.  After every breakup, it's a matter of days before I start looking for men on the web, letting them court me around town.  I usually can't muster up enough interest to see it through more than 1 date or late night phone chat.  And I keep thinking it's because these men aren't the right ones.  But maybe I am not the right one.  At least not right now.

I have to take this time, with my life being in transition, to focus on me.  My finances, my mental stability, my ability to live on my own (and enjoy it rather than just tolerate it). I think if I continued to date right now, it would be the previously mentioned battle of searching for Patrick Dempsey and constantly lowering my own standards to the people that are available at this very moment.  Enough of that.  I am going to make me an even more awesomer version of me.  And then when I am done doing that, that will be the person I flaunt around town.  It will be then, and only then, that I will score my own Patrick Dempsey.

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