Kissing and Telling, and Then Forgetting.

I've been debating for the past week whether or not I should write this blog.  My hesitation comes from the fact that I may come off as a Skanky Mcskankerton.  But as I sat down to write a blog tonight, with little to no inspiration, this popped back into my head and I've decided to stop fighting it, and just get it out of me.

I have always enjoyed being intimate with men.  Not necessarily sex, every time in every situation.  But I love the physical affection and the validation you feel when you get to makeout with someone who makes your knees weak.  I recently saw a commercial on tv that claims the average person has 18 first kisses in their lifetime.  This made me panic.  Because I think I had 18 first kisses within a year of my first ever kiss when I was 14.  So I started thinking back to all of the men, and some women, that I have kissed.  And here's the thing, I can't remember.

I don't know why my memory is so bad, or if it just specifically blocks out certain things, but when it comes to my romantic history all I can seem to remember are the feelings and not the people.  For instance, I remember that I dated this guy named Jason for a short while.  For the life of me, I can't remember his last name.  But I can remember the first time he kissed me, after dinner, on a Lake Shore Drive outside of his apartment building.  Then there's Staffort.  I remember his name, because come on, it's Staffort.  But I have no idea what he looked like.  All I can picture in my head when I think of him is Bruce Willis.  And that can't be right.  What I do remember is his hand on the small of my back when I jumped up to the microphone and started signing "Mr. Jones" with him at the bar.

Maybe I am so in love with the feeling of romance and affection that it is the only thing I hold onto after these encounters.  It makes me feel bad for the other involved party, but at least it's about how you made me feel vs. who you were, where you were from, or how much money you spent on me. 

I've done a lot of dating in the past 2 years since Andy and I broke up.  I told myself I was looking for another relationship, but as it would turn out, I wasn't.  I was just looking to surpass the standard for first kisses with flying colors.  I believe I have succeeded. 

I only kiss one boy now, and that's okay with me too.  Because now I get the feelings, and I have a chance to really get to know him.  And it's harder to forget someone who never really leaves your mind.

Yours Truly,
Skanky McSkankerton